Preparing for Christmas….. Matt 25: 31-40,

So today is the big day. There’s a parade in town to officially launch Christmas.  There will be crowds, lots of music, plenty of cheering and clapping. Tractors and trucks will roll on by with scenes from fairy tales, there’ll be cultural groups, dancers, bands, all announcing Christmas is coming. And at the end of it all the fellow who everyone is waiting for – resplendent in his red suit and white beard is Santa! Santa Claus, Father Christmas.

But who is Santa? In many places he’s known as St Nicholas or just plain St Nic. He always seems to be a gift bringer but in some countries he brings gifts on December 6th which is his special saints day. In some countries to try and reinforce good morals Nic only delivers presents to good children and in Holland there is a character called Black Peter who is in charge of the book of St Nicholas, and if your name isn’t in the book then you’ll not get a gift.

For some reason he’s associated with the North Pole, and I think this tradition goes back to a series of cartoons published in Harpers Weekly in the 1800’s when the North Pole was still out there somewhere and not yet visited by human beings. Earlier in the nineteenth century reindeer had been associated with Santa.

In history the real home of St Nicholas can be traced back to Turkey and a town called Myra. Nicholas was the bishop of the area back in the 3rd century when Turkey was a centre for the Christian faith. If you go to Turkey today they are rather proud of the old bishop of Myra, but most of his body and relics ended up in an Italian city called Bari. There it is claimed that each year on his saints day, December 6th they exude a clear watery liquid which smelled like rose water, which was called manna or myrrh and believed by the faithful to possess miraculous powers. Vials of myrrh from his relics have been taken all over the world for centuries, and can still be obtained from his church in Bari. Sometime in the next few days a flask of manna will be extracted from the tomb by the clergy of the basilica, where the relics are still stored, but I have to confess I’ll not be ordering any of the so called myrrh over the internet.

The story of Bishop Nicholas’s life is I think worth knowing about. There is a famous story which tells us about a few of our Christmas traditions but which also I think challenges us. One day he was making his way home after conducting a wedding in the local church. The wedding procession was making its way through the crowded streets and people were cheering and wishing the couple well. Three sisters from the poorer side of town were also making their way home after a miserable day begging to try and make ends meet. Their worn out clothes were in stark contrast to the fine clothing of the wedding guests. The kindly Bishop smiled at the girls as they passed and made the comment that maybe one of the girls would be getting married soon. The girls responded with the honest but harsh reality that their father had no money to pay a dowry which was needed to attract a suitor. The bishop in his resplendent red robe and flowing white beard was saddened. He knew where they lived and the truth of what they were saying.

Twenty minutes later the girls made it home to their simple single storied one roomed shack. The shutters were closed in the wintry weather because there was nothing in the windows to prevent the cold wind from whistling through the house. From the chimney spiraled a thin curl of smoke as the girls started a small fire to try and bring warmth into the little hut they called home. “My feet are wet through,” shivered the youngest sister as she took off their worn out shoes by the fire. “We can hang our socks from the rod that holds the cooking pot and maybe they’ll dry a little overnight,” said the middle sister as they set about making a soup from some scraps of food they had procured during the day. So they made themselves as comfortable as they could in the dim light of the fire as the soup slowly boiled. Some time later their father returned from another day in which he had found no work. Together they ate their supper of bread and soup, hoping for a better day tomorrow. Together they said their prayers and went off to bed.

Meanwhile the bishop had gone to join the wedding guests at their feast. His mind, however. was still filled with the image of the three girls. He was well aware that they could well end up having to earn their keep at the local brothel and was wondering what he could do. His faith taught him that it wasn’t right that some people had more than enough while others languished in poverty. Even he as the bishop could not alter that reality overnight, but he could do something.

The father of the bride was in a generous mood that evening and when he caught up with Nicholas he pressed a bag of gold coins into the old mans hand, with profuse thanks for performing the wedding ceremony. “That should help keep the church going,” he said with a wink. Nicholas thanked him in return but already he knew what he would do.
Around midnight Nicholas excused himself from the joyful wedding party, put on his warm red cloak and stepped out into the freezing city. He made his way to where the three sisters lived. The place was shuttered and dark. He pondered what to do and then noticed an outer stairway on the next door house would enable him to lean over and access the chimney of the little shack.. Chuckling to himself he tipped the purse of coins down the chimney and hurried away, taking care of course not to slip and end up with a broken led or worse.

In the morning the youngest daughter woke and went to light the fire for some hot water. Before she did she removed the socks and went to put them on, but to her surprise a gold coin tumbled out. She quickly called her sisters who also found coins in their socks and also in the ashes of last night’s fire. They danced around the house with joy puzzled as to how the coins had made their way into their socks hanging in the fireplace, but also realizing their life had changed. Their dear old dad muttered to himself I think I’ll be talking to some of my old friends about who might make lovely brides for their sons. Out loud he exclaimed, “a gift has come from heaven itself, praise be to God!”
Somewhere in another part of town Bishop Nicholas watched the sun rise. He too chuckled as he thought of the joy that would be in the house he had secretly visited. With just a little love and kindness this world could be such a different place. With a bit of Jesus in our hearts heaven can indeed come to earth.

Just a story, but a story that I want to highlight as we come to our first Sunday in Advent. The time when we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus. A recent poll of Americans conducted for World Vision showed that Americans plan to spend more this Christmas season on consumer gifts than they did last year, but give less to charities and ministries that help the poor. Many say they are tightening their belts a little and the place they are planning on doing that is giving to help others. So in America at least there will be more Christmas presents this year, but less help for the poor. I suspect the same applies here in New Zealand. While retailers, economists, and politicians rejoice at news about higher consumer spending, the lower levels of support for the ones Jesus called “the least of these” or the neighbour in need should I think have us concerned.

Indeed, the Matthew 25 scripture that we read this morning is one of the few, and most, judgmental passages in all the New Testament. About some things, Jesus was non negotiable and harshly judgmental. The Gospel clearly says that how we treat the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked, the sick, and the prisoner is how we treat Jesus. That’s pretty judgmental, especially when you go on to read what will happen to those who ignore Jesus call to generosity and kindness. Seeing the face of Christ is every person.

But rather than being judgmental, let’s do something about it. Two things:

1. Plan an act of unexpected generosity and kindness. Not something that is based on the few coins you have in your purse, but something radical and significant. A secret gift for someone who is struggling. If you can however acknowledge the birth of Jesus as the reason for the generosity.

2. Let’s start a “Christmas Tithe.” Let’s spread the idea to our kids, our families, our friends and neighbors. Let’s keep track of all our Christmas spending for gifts, food, and whatever this year, and then tithe a percentage of that amount to an organization or cause that directly serves the poor. A tithe is traditionally 10 percent, but you could decide to do less or even more. But make a decision about your Christmas tithe and pledge it to an organisation like Christian World Service, or to Waltham Cottage.

This is a time to give generously…more — not less. Sit down with your kids and grandkids and get them involved in a discussion about how we can do more for others who don’t have what we have. You may be surprised at how responsive they are to doing this together. Doing some thing for others touches our soul. The world proclaims this is a time of getting – let’s make it a time of giving! Let’s teach our kids and grandkids the true message of St Nicholas or Santa Claus, that giving is what is important and that giving can be fun!

Dugald Wilson 2 Dec 2018

Looking forward….. Rev 1:9-16, 13: 11-18, 17:1-6, 19:11-16, 21:1-7

The Book of Revelation at the very end of our Bibles is a book some people love and others wonder what on earth it is all about. Martin Luther the great reformer and leader of our protestant faith wanted the book removed from scripture claiming it was an ‘epistle of straw’. He thought it had little to teach us and plenty have agreed with him as they read its dramatic poetic language and imagery that seems to make little rational sense. It is what is known as Apocalyptic Literature which is largely foreign to us, and it’s very different from reading the morning paper. There are visions of strange beasts, four horsemen, angels blowing trumpets, wars, dragons, special numbers, Armageddon, lakes of fire….and through it all God sits on his throne attended by all sorts of amazing creatures. For conspiracy theorists it is an absolute goldmine and I remember well some Christian friends refusing bankcards when they first came in because they read Revelation chapter 13 about a great beast rising up that opposed God. According to the writer of Revelation the beast has a number and that is 666, and there it was on the bankcard for everyone to see. Further it says that no-one could buy or sell without the mark. It was all a sign that the end was nigh. Actually watching how many of the larger banks have operated in recent years one might agree, but to claim this is all predicted in the book of Revelation needs some serious critique.

Put simply some Christians believe the Book of Revelation offers a picture of how the world will end. There will be a great cataclysmic final period of history before God steps in and the faithful will be rescued to live on for eternity in heaven. The codes and signs in the imagery tell us what will happen in these end times and all through history there have been people saying they have cracked the codes and imagery. I recall a few years ago books by Hal Lindsay. Hal said the end times were upon us. He pointed to the setting up of the state of Israel and four key players – Russia, China, The Middle Eastern nations, and the European Economic Union which was seen to be the ten horned beast because there were ten countries in the union. Sorry Hal but it hasn’t played out as you predicted. I think you were plain wrong. (over 25 million copies of the Late Great Planet Earth were sold!)
I don’t think the book of Revelation offers us a coded road map of the future. I don’t believe there is a plan that details every event in the future. I believe the Book of Revelation has an historical context arising out of the bloody reign of the Roman emperor Nero around 60 AD and later that of Domitian in the AD 90’s. The events depicted in the visions revolve around the persecutions and events that were unfolding right before John the author’s eyes. The Christians were still a tiny tiny minority of the population, possibly .01% . But under Nero we have the first significant persecutions. It was during this time that Pricilla and Aquila were expelled from Rome, and tradition tells us that people like Paul and Peter were martyred. Augustine writing some 300 years later tells us that some saw Nero as the Anti-Christ, and a number of reputable scholars today contend that the number 666 in the Book of Revelation is a code for Nero himself. In Hebrew there is a system of allocating numbers to letters and if you calculate the numeric value of ‘Nero Caesar’ in Hebrew you come up with 666.

Imagine yourself part of the small group of faithful Christians. Jesus has been gone for 40 years and instead of improving matters are getting worse. With a mad dictator in Rome Christianity is now being singled out because these terrible Christians refuse to give total allegiance to the emperor. All mad leaders know the value of having scapegoats. (Jews, Mexican refugees) Key Christians are being targeted, and some are being brutally killed. You meet in secret, and you talk in ways that that are not openly understood. The Roman empire becomes a ‘beast’ and we all know what we are talking about.

In this light the book of Revelation was about navigating through some very dark times with courage. Even if violence and the cruel hand of the empire is knocking on your door and literally threatening to drag you out to face lions and other beasts, God is still at work. Kia kaha. But I think the book of Revelation goes further. It tells us 21st century Christians who often park God off out there somewhere, a distant observer, that God is involved in all the events of our world. There is if you like a constant battle going on in our own lives and in the life of our community, our nation, our world, between good and evil and frankly the world we live in isn’t such a lovely comfortable place we like to make it out to be. There are evil powers at work and there are battles to be fought. We need to remember this, and dare I say it our kids and grandkids need to be taught this. As one of my favourite books says in the opening lines, “Life is difficult.” It goes on to say when we expect it to be nice and easy we fool our ourselves and live with illusions.

So in a time of apparent failure the book of Revelation provided the disciples with a dramatic alternative picture of what was happening. This picture outlined in the Book of Revelation put God in the centre again. When some were saying let’s keep our heads down and live like everyone else Revelation says dare to be different and stand firm for what is good and true. It talked of great battles because the power of evil and death was and is real. Instead of saying the Emperor is a fraud and his violent regime is rotten and evil which could get them killed, Revelation tells a strange story about a monster who comes out of the sea, a place of evil, and is defeated. Instead of saying the established religions of Rome are corrupt it tells a story about a whore. Instead of saying the Empire is doomed, it talks of a past empire which reached glorious heights but which collapsed inwards into a cess pit of violence, greed, and inhumanity – Babylon. The language is rich in symbolism. It talks of a beast with seven heads and says these seven heads are seven mountains -the great city of Rome was located on seven mountains or hills.. and the writer is saying this city, the toast of the empire and apparent symbol of success , is a godless city built on the subjugation of many. It was not a just society it was not a sustainable society….ring any bells?

We read of the vision of Jesus coming on a great white horse and you may think it doesn’t fit with the Jesus I know in the gospels. This Jesus of Revelation seems to be a person of brute strength and violence. But read these visions carefully. Even before the battle begins Jesus’s robe is blood stained with his own self giving love, and the sword he carries is in his mouth not in his hand. The vision of the Messiah is of someone who has shed his own blood, and who fights not with guns and bombs, but with words of love and with judgements about what is right and wrong. This Messiah fights with the power of truth to bring healing and reconciliation into our world.

We may read passages in Revelation and think God is going to destroy the earth and think as some Christians do that we don’t need to worry about climate change, or polluting the earth, living sustainably, or being concerned about the plight of so many who have so little. God is going to destroy it all anyway. But that negates the beautiful visionary scene we read at the end of the book which pictures a New Jerusalem, or holy city, descending from heaven to engage in a new relationship with the earth. “See the home of God is now fully amongst us, and the earth is renewed. God’s home is now the very earth itself. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and violence and destruction will be no more. No more will people cry out with the pain of injustice. For the earth has been obliterated… no the earth is transformed and made new.”

The poetic picture is striking. This transformed earth doesn’t need a temple because God’s presence is felt everywhere. It doesn’t need a sun or moon because the light of Christ burns bright in every corner. Its gates are never shut and it welcomes people from all round the world to receive and bring blessings and treasures to one another. From the centre of the city, from God’s own throne, a river flows. But it’s not any old river, it is a river of life or aliveness. Along its banks grows trees of Life with fruit available every month of the year. True peace reigns as people live in harmony with one another and with all creation as children of God. The picture of the end of the world is not destruction but renewal. Everything made whole. Life in all its fullness.

God is calling us into this reality. It is not some distant there but it is here. And the final word of the Book of Revelation is compelling. That word is not ‘wait’ or even ‘one day’ but is a word inviting us to join the journey. Bringing something new into being. Each day of our lives we should hear this word – it is the word, “COME”. Come and join those walking the road of Jesus that leads us to a union of earth and heaven. Come join those who are working for good. Revelation tells us it won’t be easy and there will be times when all seems hopeless. But Jesus is the true way that leads to life.

Dugald Wilson Nov 2018

Was there something that caught your attention in the address today?

How have you viewed the Book of Revelation in the past?

Do you think the future is pre-planned or is it simply shaped by our choices? Where does God fit in?

Dugald claims heaven is located not somewhere separated from the earth but is to be located within the life we know. Contemplate this week some of the ways you have brought a sense of heaven into your daily life.

Mark 12:18-27, 1 Cor 15:35-44

One of the hardest things we face in our lives is that at some point we have to say goodbye. At some point we have to call it quits and take a new journey into the unknown of what lies beyond. One of the realities that hasn’t changed all through the ages is that mortality rates for every living creature including ourselves has remained at 100%. No amount of research and scientific discovery has managed to budge this figure.

One of the surprising things is that in a world where we seem keen to break every taboo in terms of what we talk about and what we parade in the media, death remains something we hide from. Our society seems to keep hoping that death will somehow remain over the horizon. I simply want to make the assertion that a healthy view of death helps us live healthy lives. John Calvin the great reformer used to say take a walk in a cemetery at least once a week – it’s good for the soul. Dying shouldn’t be discussed in hushed tones, but should be a reality we accept. A healthy view of dying us will enhance our living and often will help us die well, and our religion should help us find this life and confidence in the face of death. God’s Spirit proclaims a message of hope not fear. “The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus,” Paul said, “has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”

I wonder what he meant by set you free from the law of death. I think it’s something like this: The Spirit of Jesus, or what we know as the Holy Spirit will move within us to help us face death with hope, not fear, with a deep confidence not anxiety. Jesus has walked through death and come out the other side. It is not a full stop.
It is also not a removal to some far off place called heaven where we wander around in white robes and playing golf all day. Being set free means simply trusting God that all will be well.

The Spirit whispers…
Death is a part of life. Dying is how things are supposed to be. There are deaths that happen far too soon and in ways that God does not desire. There is tragedy in life and I don’t think of us can fully understand why. But dying is part of living and in the end we have to step aside and let someone else have a turn. In the natural order of things we wear out and we have to let go and let another generation take over. As leaves on the tree we do our bit to bring life to the tree but in the end we have to let go and drop to the earth to let new buds burst forth with new leaves. This is how life works.

The Spirit whispers…
Death is a mystery. What actually happens in death remains mystery. Jesus spoke of resurrection and evidenced this in his own life. The Sadducees tried to rubbish Jesus on this point. They were a group of Jewish intellectuals who were strict about keeping the laws and following scripture. They had no place for people who talked about a new fangled idea called resurrection. Read your scriptures they would say and a careful reading of much of the Old Testament would indeed back them up. So who would you be married to in the afterlife they questioned Jesus if you had multiple wives. Good practical question but as Jesus answers it’s not as straightforward as that. What follows isn’t continuation of what is. He simply says our forefathers in the faith like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are alive in God. It’s an interesting answer because Jesus refuses to give a clear picture of how or what death entails, other than to say we are gathered into God’s eternal life.

Paul picks up this mystery in his letter to the Corinthians. He claims we simply have no way of knowing exactly what lies ahead because it’s like entering another dimension of this world. He uses the analogy of the seed dying. You plant a seed and next thing you see the seed changed into a plant. You could never guess what that transformation looks like by looking at the seed. The resurrection life is quite different and yet it is closely linked to what went before. Our creeds talk of Jesus’ resurrection as a physical resurrection – his continuing life is still intimately linked to this earth and is not about some removed far off heaven.

I expect there will be some awareness of reunion with our loved ones. When I am with dying people I often hear stories of loved ones visiting or waiting but our individuality is different when we die into God. I have a hunch that dying is a bit like being gathered up by a giant wave of warmth and love. I like the images contained in our faith of being called home or returning to the source, but don’t ask me to explain these images in every last detail. They are metaphorical images. The deepest things in life are all about metaphorical images.

The Spirit whispers…..
Death involves judgment. In recent years we have reports from people who have died and been resuscitated again. Often these people talk of travelling down some sort of tunnel and becoming aware of a wonderful light and warmth and love. A welcoming home. But they will often talk of their life being reviewed before them and of judging their own lives in the presence of love. I am aware that some say all this is simply chemical interaction in the brain but I don’t think it’s that simple. Jesus too talked of judgment and in our heritage that has taken the form of images of being cast into hell. I sat with someone dying a while ago who was clearly uncomfortable about dying. I think they contemplated the possibility that they were somehow not good enough to be welcomed into God’s arms. Like all of us they knew they could have done better. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and like most of us there were things in their life they were not proud of. Would they get the thumbs up or the thumbs down? Hell pictured this way is an unhelpful image. I lived in Jerusalem for a few months and one day took a walk to hell. I need to explain. There was (actually there still is) a rubbish dump on the outskirts of Jerusalem called Gehenna where there was a constant fire burning and wild animals ran around gnashing teeth. Gehenna in our English bibles is called hell. It was a rubbish dump. It is a good thing for us to let stuff go from our lives. The failure to use our gifts well, the fears that have imprisoned us, the relationships that have gone bad. I believe in death there will be a chuck out of stuff in our lives to be forgotten and cast on the rubbish heap. This purifying fire may surprise us with some bitter truths. But I think there will be some other surprises. Many who think of themselves as nothing special, and I look out and see a whole host of you here, will discover that all those deeds of kindness, the moments when you put others first are remembered and celebrated by God.

God’s judgment is not a matter of punishment or an instrument of torture but is a restoring judgment. People who have had near death experiences and experienced the judgment of their lives invariably have new energy to live more meaningful lives. Judgment motivates and reminds us that the choices we make matter. The choices we make have consequences and the tradition of talking about judgment in death should energise us to discover what is of real value in our mission of loving and healing God’s world. It is to encourage us to use our wealth to make others rich, not to hoard it, to use our power to encourage others not to pull them down, to give of ourselves to enhancing the gift of life in ourselves in others and in all the earth.
So dying… We die into God. We will enter into a goodness so good, a richness so rich, a holiness so holy, a mercy and love so strong and true that all of our pride, lust, greed, resentment and fear will instantly be melted out of us. We will at that moment understand how deep is God’s love.

We die into God and this future is described by another image in our scriptures, and that is the image of a great banquet around God’s table of joy. It is an image of acceptance, feasting, communion, equality, aliveness, festivity. Trust God and know those who have gone before us, and every one of us will discover a love that will not let you go when our turn comes to cross the great divide..

Dugald Wilson 11 Nov 2018

Was there something that stood out for you in the address today?

Talk with a friend about your experiences and your fears about death. Talk together about what you think happens at death and what images surrounding death are important for you…..

What have you been taught about God’s judgment. Do you think of judgment as punishment or as purification?

Imagine God as a wonderful warm presence of love that holds all those who go before us and rest in that presence.

Gen 2:18-25 Mark 10:2-9    7 October 2018

A Sunday School attendee was asked, ‘what does God say about marriage?’ The boy thought about this for a moment and then responded with Jesus’ words from the cross: “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” I guess that’s true for most of us who have entered this sacred relationship. We may not know what we were doing, but surveys tell us that we do have some idea of what we want. For women it’s affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family commitment. For men the list is different – for us it’s sex, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and finally admiration. I should point out these were American surveys so it’s probably different here! But with such different expectations its little wonder that marriage is fraught with difficulties and challenges.

Marriage is a fundamental relationship in our scriptures. In the creation story from Genesis 2:18-25 we have a statement that ‘it is not good for the Adam or earthchild to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for the earthchild’. The state of loneliness is the one thing in creation that is not good, for it seems humans are created to live in relationship. I should also point out the word for helper sometimes is thought of as someone inferior who serves. This is not so. Later on in our scriptures in Deuteronomy 33:29, God is described using the same word. God is our helper. Essentially the term means providing something that is lacking in the other. Human beings it seems are not complete and whole by themselves but are created to live in relationship with others. In partnership and community there is a blossoming of life. What our scriptures say is that we are communal beings and we are at our best when we commit to communal relationships.

A key building block for communal relationship is marriage. The uniqueness of this relationship is spelt out in two ways. “Therefore a man (or person) leaves his (her) mother and father and clings to his wife (another), and they become one flesh.” (Gen 3:24) Firstly there is a marital leaving. There is a disengaging from the family that brought us up and gave us our beginning to launch a new unit of life. This message of letting go for us has to do with the leaving a childlike state of dependency and taking responsibility as an adult to shape new life. Young people of today need to hear this as they cling to the security of parents, and modern parents need to hear this as they build dependent relationships with their children. Around us birds are building and inhabiting nests but very shortly the nests will be abandoned as parents literally kick the young ones out into the world to sink or swim. The second message is about marital union which is something far more than the intimacy of sexual encounter. It involves everyday skills of friendship, listening, appreciating, encouraging. It is why good friendships often lead to secure and satisfying marriages. At the heart of becoming one flesh is the hard work of love. Many couples seem to work on the assumption that marital intimacy just happens. We talk of falling in love.

One of my favourite authors Dr Scott Peck in his excellent book, “The Road Less Travelled” says a couple of things that stick with me. The first is that people who fall in love eventually fall out of love and that’s when real love begins to take root. When the rosy coloured spectacles come off and we see one another in the real light of day with warts and wrinkles and still commit to seeking the welfare and growth of another – that’s real love. He also says that the opposite of love is not hate but is laziness. Love is essentially hard work as we commit to the growth and well being of another, but it’s very very easy to slip into lazy patterns and routines in our relationships that treat our partners as part of the furniture. The opposite of love is laziness. We no longer see the special-ness and sacredness in another, and we take the other people in our lives, or ourselves, for granted. We forget to affirm, appreciate, and communicate worth and value. It is a wonderful thing to switch off our ego and self centredness, to dull down our ‘what can I get out of this’, and focus wholly on helping another grow and blossom. It is a good thing to take a moment to reflect in our relationships how I might be a better lover, how I might encourage the life in another, what can I do to grow aliveness in another….or again even within yourself. This is the work that is at the center of marriage and at the center of family.

Words work well for some but for others images are important so I want to encourage you with an image. This is a picture of a sculpture sculptured by the French artist Auguste Rodin in 1908 called originally the Ark of the Covenant, but renamed by Rodin rather interestingly the Cathedral. I think the great interior space of a gothic cathedral is encapsulated in the space between the hands. If you look closely you’ll notice the hands are both right hands. There are two people involved here. The hands are about to clasp. It is the space between them that intrigues me, and speaks of the work of love and marriage. It is a sacred and mysterious space. The two hands are nurturing something awesome together. A marriage isn’t just about a practical arrangement of living together, or about fulfilling one another’s needs, but it is participating in a new dream, nurturing a new sacred space through which something mysterious and awesome, God breathed, emerges. A good question to ask for those of us who live in the gift of marriage is, “what are we nurturing in our relationship, and how are we serving the sacred presence of love through which the world will be healed?”

I want to remind you of Jesus’ words… that two become one flesh. They are no longer two distinct individuals but are melded somehow into a new form which I think is a sign of the interconnectedness that was at the heart of Jesus’ vision of a new earth. Deep relationship in its many forms is what Jesus is talking about here. People transcending their ego driven lives to see sacredness and value in another. We are part of a culture that is possibly the most individualistic self seeking culture of all time and in that culture it’s no wonder marriage is a disaster. Community is a disaster, caring for creation is a disaster, but loneliness and anxiety are winners. We have neglected the importance of relationship and instead promoted the ideal of getting for self. What can I get out of the relationship is the question we ask rather than what can I give and how can I serve. What will fulfil my needs as opposed to how can I create sacred space, a cathedral.

We now see the consequences of these ideas in a record high number of failed marriages with huge costs on the partners who have to deal with the failure in so many ways, the cost to the children, and to society as a whole. Before those with marriages intact sit smugly back however, I observe many marriages that are so called “intact” because they have lasted the distance are far from ideal. Lasting the distance isn’t anything to be proud of if the dream of God and the life giving sacrificial love has gone from the relationship. Jesus as we know had much to say about skin deep appearances. Some of you know the painful reality of facing up to a relationship that has failed and taking steps to move on. I salute your courage! Jesus is someone who believes in the second chance. All of us fail in life, and all of us are surrounded by the deep love of God which does not give up on us. Working out balances between ideals and realities is never easy.

I want to end with another image – simple story of encouragement. Robert Salzer is a surgeon who has written of some of his experiences. In this story he visits a young woman after surgery to her face. He writes:
I stand by the bed where a young woman lies, her face postoperative, her mouth twisted in palsy, clownish. A tiny twig of the facial nerve, the one to the muscles of her mouth has been severed. I had followed with religious fervour the curve of her flesh, I promise you that. Nevertheless, to remove the tumour in her cheek, I had cut the little nerve. Her young husband is in the room. He stands on the opposite side of the bed, and together they seem to dwell in the evening light, isolated from me, private. Who are they I ask myself, he and his wrymouth I have made, who gaze at each other? The young woman speaks. “Will my mouth always be like this?” she asks. “Yes”, I say, “it will. It is because the nerve was cut.” She nods and is silent. But the young man smiles. “I like it”, he says. “It is kind of cute.” All at once I know who he is. I understand, and I lower my gaze. One is not bold in an encounter with a god. Unmindful, he bends to kiss her crooked mouth, and I am so close I can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate to hers, to show her that their kiss still works.

I wonder why such a story evokes awe and a deep sense of this is what life is about. Rodin might have said if he were a witness to this encounter…. Cathedral.  Some might say sacrament – an action in which God is present.
May there be God filled moments in your relationships and in your marriages.

Dugald Wilson 7 October 2018