“So, Then” (Ephesians 4:25-5:2)
You may know the story about the old Native American who was sharing wisdom with his grandson. The story goes, one evening the Cherokee man told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My child, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
One wolf is Evil. It is anger, hostility, arrogance, resentment, inferiority, sorrow, regret, self-pity, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other wolf is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson listened closely and thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” (do you know it?) The grandfather simply replied, “The one you feed.”
This morning we hear the words “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.” As we consider the power and the place of anger, it is good to be reminded of part of the Palm Sunday story, when Jesus has just ridden a donkey into Jerusalem. Making his way to the Temple, he is for a moment, furious, and he drives out the buyers and the sellers. He knocks over the tables of the moneychangers, and throws around the seats of those selling doves. He quotes the scriptures, of how God’s house is a house of prayer, not a den of thieves. Then he settles down to cure the blind and the lame.
We need to talk about anger, because anger can be a holy trait, when we see that things are not just, and not right, and rather than look the other way it can motivate real change, it is a trait that God gives us.
Technically speaking, anger is an emotion. It comes to all of us. Anger is sparked by conflict. Something unwanted happens. We get angry because we care about something or someone, or because we want something to go our way.
There is righteous anger, as with Jesus who cares deeply about the things of God, and discovers that the business in God’s house is not as God intends it to be. And there is deadly anger, with the power to consume us and harm others. The line between “righteous” and “deadly” anger is a dotted line, we need the spot difference in ourselves and others.
The writer of Ephesians gives three pieces of advice. First, “Be angry but do not sin.” Anger comes naturally, as we live in a world that we do not run. Sin is the behavior that destroys, and it is at the door when we let anger determine our motives – for example, when we strike back in revenge, or escalate a situation. When anger comes, let it wash over come and go like every emotion. We can’t pretend that anger doesn’t hit us from time to time, but it doesn’t need to let it have power over us.
Second, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Comedian Phyllis Diller once gave this advice to couples, “don’t go to bed mad, stay up and fight.” Give it a time limit. Don’t keep carrying it. Don’t let it build over time or accumulate. Start each morning new. This is particularly true for those of us who live with other people who wake up beside us. Hit the reset button first thing in the morning. The advice in the rest of the paragraph applies: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” It’s hard work, but regular practice makes better people of us.
Third, “Do not make room for the devil.” That’s good advice generally, and especially for anger. Whatever anger you feel is yours alone. It doesn’t need to be swallowed, but it doesn’t need to be shared either. There’s something increasingly destructive about taking the anger we feel and stirring it up. Our hurts and grudges are real, but we do not need to feed them. And if we talk out of anger with somebody else, in order to gain their sympathy or drag them in, pretty soon we may find ourselves dragged under. This is the warning for all of us.
I think we do have a tendency to avoid conflict in our workplaces and our personal lives to a great extent in an effort to preserve a sense of peace. At times, we go away mad rather than risk saying what we feel. I am not advocating that we need to go out and look for things to disagree on, but there is something lost, when complete and constant harmony in our relationships is the utmost goal.
It can, and often does, take more effort to avoid conflict than it does to face a divisive issue squarely, name the pain, say what is wrong, decide what comes next and move on. Many times through a good process of voicing differing ideas, or fighting fair, creative ideas with new and unexpected results come forth. Falsehoods can be discovered and discarded. By discussing, debating, letting our passions show about issues, we can be changed ourselves and we can give others a sense of what is significant and central to us.
What is important enough in our own lives, or our community lives, that we are willing to speak our truth about it and seek truth in community? For many today as we talk about hot button we find ourselves facing others with strongly held beliefs that differ from our own. What do we do then? And there are issues closer to home as well, how to spend the household money, how to raise the children. These are just some of the things which we feel strongly about.
The church at Ephesus was not in the midst of complete harmony, they were in the middle of a civil war within the church. Some issue, or issues had begun pulling apart the threads that held them together, and they were lining up behind “their” leader and their issues as they each felt they were standing in the corner of truth and righteousness.
As admirable and important as each of these viewpoints might have been, the underlying assumption of each had a debilitating effect on the life of the church. It meant that the unity they shared in Christ was being dissolved in favor of human loyalties. What was holding them together, their common life in Christ, was evaporating before their very eyes.
We need each other’s perspectives and experiences to fill in the gaps of our own understanding. I will never see the world an African priest does. I don’t see things through the eyes of an Evangelical Southern Baptist, but as people of faith, bring their ideas to light, share their experience and perspectives then the greeter good is served. We see the fantastic variety of ways God’s presence is felt in the world.
Paul’s style would usually be described as blunt rather than nice. Paul’s call for unity, may be heard as a threat to diversity of viewpoints and opinions, but that is because we confuse unity with uniformity. Later in this letter Paul will defend the different judgments that Christians may have on the same issue, and call for care in practice of all so that unity of the church and the faith of its members are not damaged. In a similar way Paul discusses the gifts of the spirit and their place in worship. We have a variety of gifts but they each come from the one Lord. Unity in faith does not mean unity in thought and practice.
It has been an exciting time in American politics, the other day Kamala Harris offered a terrific observation when she said “If you know what you stand for, you know what to fight for”
By speaking out for what we believe, we come to realize what we truly hold dear, what is important to us. There are many issues, climate change, income inequality, homelessness; which need ongoing effort and thought full dialogue. And people can become passionate about them. That is fine, but Paul letter warns us, not to let our feelings about one issue, or one person allow us to miss the greater mark, striving to make God’s love real to all. When we put all our energy into one issue, we can lose the greater good; the greatest good -which is our lives in Christ.
He hopes that by speaking out a change and refocus will happen. It is an expression of his care and commitment to keep the focus on Christ. Disagreements, fights can be good when they clarify what is really important; the church was missing what meant the most. Remaining committed to one another through the unified body of Christ will take continuing effort, each generation will need to struggle with the call to keep the focus on Christ. It means saying what we believe and listening to others. Not listening to the loudest voice but listening for the voice of the Spirit. Let us do so with Love and conviction. Amen.