“Winter is Past” (Song of Solomon 2:8-15)
Intro: Our reading this morning is from Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs as some bibles have this titled. It is a stirring celebration of love. An American storyteller, Garrison Keillor from Minnesota, once shared that in his youth, when things got dull in the Lutheran church, that he would reach for a bible and if no one was looking, he would sneak a peek at Song of Solomon. He described how this got him in trouble once because he was blushing so much that he got caught by the pastor and had to stand up and read it out loud. Don’t worry Barry will read it for us. . (Prayer)
I’ve never been one for picking birthday or anniversary cards. Monica and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary this past June, but I ask you to use a little bit of imagination and try to picture me 33 years younger, I want to recreate a moment for you. (Card Skit)
When it comes to the physical love and longing between two people, many in the church and synagogue have said, “That’s kind of a private thing.” This passage, and whole book of Song of Solomon, has been a source of great debate and embarrassment for the church over the years. It is difficult for two main reasons; first its straight forward sexual images and references, and second the lack of any specific reference to God. There are some scholars who advocate that it is an allegory of God’s passion for Israel or for the church. And that may be, but this morning I would rather take the scripture at face value of two human lovers in love and consider what it may say to us.
In many marriages, and long term committed relationships, there can come a point where couples turn to each other and say “what happened to us?” “What happened to the way we used to be?” “Where has the passion gone?, the playfulness, the fireworks? Life partners sometimes begin to reminisce “Ah, remember how our love used to light up the sky! (imitate fireworks) , and then they lament, “now it feels kind of fizzled out, and we’re lucky to light a sparkler once in a while.”
So many things can be named as “culprits” when one looks for reasons why relationships cool off. Too much work, too much stress, too many kids, too much time together, or too much time apart. Or there can be “not enoughs”, not enough attention to each other, not enough compassion, not enough trust. Whatever it is, something is off balance and has somehow sapped strength from the relationship and left in it’s place a longing for what might have once been, or what one has always hoped for and not yet found.
I think every relationship goes through the excitement of “beginning”, with the wonder and newness of it all. Then it grows and matures in differing ways. Some grow in ways that are lasting and fulfilling, others end in ways no one intended, and some may continue but have a sense like there is something missing. I don’t want to focus on what can go wrong in a long term relationship. There is plenty of evidence on what makes a relationship fail, I’d like to consider what helps things go right.
Song of Solomon is not a prescription for making things better. It is a description of love
in full bloom. This passage is part of one of the most beautiful love poems even written.
It tells us of how good love can be, it describes with great beauty the power of love, and the beauty of two people committed to each other. It is most certainly the songs and poetry of two people courting, who are in that “everything-is-wonderful phase” of a relationship. You know the time, when the other can do no wrong, and they think the same of you.
And while this is written from the “head over heals in love” time of a relationship, we see
in it things that will continue to serve this couple well not just for the moment, but over a
lifetime, through the ups and downs that will come. There is much here to give us insight
into what makes a relationship last.
As we read, we see immediately there is an anticipation of being with the other, a looking forward to just seeing the other. This passage starts “the voice of my beloved!” He is coming to be with me. Just the thought of being together sends spirits soaring. Part of the joy of being committed to another is just spending time together, whether it is out discovering the world together, or spending time on the porch. A simple appreciation and recognition of the pleasure that comes from the other being near can make a world of difference. It may sound strange to say to someone you love, but just stating “I like you, and I like being with you” can make somebody else’s week.
With each of the two individuals, there is a special appreciation for the moment. They are content with the present and there is a desire to make the most of the day. They long to seize the moment before them, now that the winter has past and spring has arrived, they will go out and enjoy the beauty of creation. And by doing so they are renewing and refreshing themselves. Love blooms once more.
They expand the other’s world by calling the other beyond the walls and lattice that they find around themselves. One says to the other, come look at the world out here. There is so much more than we ever imagined! Look! Let’s discover it together. Growing love always has the desire to discover what life has in store on any day and every day. Perhaps one of the most wonderful invitations someone can offer another is to join in the journey of life’s discoveries saying to a cherished loved one; “Come, let’s grow old together”. “Let’s spend our days seeing how love grows and changes over time, how it renews everything”. And yet they will still feel love is somehow always the same.
The “Godfathers of greetings” cautioned that lasting relationships are not all about laughter and sexuality, both certainly are part of enduring marriages. We see in these scriptures, a joyful desire for the other. There is an earthy appreciation of each other’s physical attributes, we read he is likened to a stag and she’s a beauty who is compared to everything from a rose to a beautiful horse. The lovers describe each other in colorful detail, but they are not possessing or objectifying the other. Nor or they trying to determine who and what the other person is. The physical aspect of their relationship is uplifting, it gives life to their love. It is one way they share with the other and celebrate the goodness of creation.
In every relationship, the other should not be taken for granted, and opportunities need be taken to express appreciation for other. Sexuality, and sensuality are ways of affirming and valuing others. They are part of intimacy, a special, even sacred, closeness between people. It can be expressed in a variety of ways from holding hands, to making love. It is present when the closeness and caring is felt and real. People’s looks change, but the way we look at our loved one doesn’t have to, the eyes of love see the constant beauty and value of the one closest to us.
Song of Solomon is a beautiful book. It is not a “how-to” marriage manual, it is a poem sung between two people. It tells us and reminds us of how good love can be. It can be read without blushing, for in it we see goodness and love, both of which are created by God and are gifts from God, part of God’s plan, to be enjoyed and to be thankful for. Amen.